Click Here To Listen to the Mike Church Show PREVIEW on The CRUSADE Channel
Category

Church Doctrine

28 November 2013

Happy Thanksgiving New Awlins

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - “Happy Thanksgiving!” goes the oft cited phrase and indeed this year there will be plenty to give thanks for. Despite the stubborn rate of unemployment, the growing sea of red ink our government is swimming in and a corrupt culture from Baton Rouge to music award stages starring half naked hipsters simulating coitus, still we give thanks.
26 November 2013

Scalise Needs To Pick “Allies” Closer To Home, Like Texas

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - Why is Rep. Steve Scalise spending an Israeli lobbyist’s money? Oh wait, he only accepted the “gift” as a way to spare taxpayers the expense of funding his seven day trip to Israel to meet with Israeli leaders. Gee I wonder why he’d want to do that? Well it may have something to do with his embrace of “our closest ally in the region” which thus necessitated his immediate rejection of the deal negotiated with the Iranians over their nuclear program.
21 November 2013

St. George: A Microcosm Of Our Gordian Knot Government

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - South Baton Rouge has a problem: they don’t like their neighbors. To be specific, they don’t like the way their neighbor’s kids behave in school, the way those kids videotape fights for the joy of posting them online and the fact that they have to subsidize this behavior. Welcome to the soon to be incorporated city of St George, LA whose residents believe their city can serve “as a model... for the United States”.
19 November 2013

Vouching For Jindal that Holder Should “…go pound sand.”

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine Video - Back in August I commented on the ridiculous court case the Obama InJustice Department is pursuing against Louisiana’s school voucher system. Yesterday federal judge Ivan Lemelle confirmed that the state has to comply with Holder’s information requests before issuing vouchers. This is supposedly necessary because of the 1975 desegregation case Brumfeld v. Dodd but that is just a ruse. As I pointed out back in August and will point out again, Dodd was specifically aimed at insuring that there is equal spending in private schools without regard to race. The LA voucher program is color blind and if it did have a color preference it would be the black children in New Orleans who are its beneficiaries but don’t tell that to New Orleans’ liberals.
14 November 2013

ObamaCare: What Did Mary Landrieu “Purchase”?

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - Nancy Pelosi and Senator Mary Landrieu need to compare notes. Landrieu, quite possibly the most under-informed member of the United States Senate that is filled with intellectual wunderkinds like Senator Patty Murray. But Murray may be a Rhodes Scholar compared to Landrieu. When asked if ObamaCare was Constitutional, Landrieu told a reporter “[w]ell, we’re very lucky as members of the Senate to have constitutional lawyers on our staff, so I’ll let them answer that.” Gee, I thought the actual Senator took the oath to protect and defend the Constitution? The only oath the anonymous lawyer took was “ ‘til death do us Morris Bart.”
13 November 2013

Jimmy Graham Better Pray No One Finds Out That He Prayed

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - When Andrew Jackson showed up to meet the invading British in New Orleans, he stopped at the Ursuline Convent to visit and then pray to Our Lady of Prompt Succor1 with Sister St. Michel and the Ursuline sisters. We know how this story ends but many don’t know that Jackson made regular stops at Ursuline Convent whenever he was in New Orleans.2 The power of prayer has thus been sought and revered in New Orleans for centuries. Inside the Superdome Sunday night, the power of prayer was invoked on the sidelines as Times Picayune photographer David Grunfeld discovered.
07 November 2013

In ObamaLand Money DOES Grow On Trees

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - Question: Have you told your children lately that “there’s no such thing as a free lunch?” Have you told them that “money don’t grow on trees?” Before answering those questions here are two more. “Have you ever heard of the Federal Reserve” and “have you ever heard of the Food Stamp program?” Well if you answered “yes” to question 3 then you already know that money grown from trees “pays for” the free lunches provided for in question 4.
29 October 2013

Why Should LA Surrender Our Health Care System For Obama’s?

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - So you went to healthcare.gov to buy a health insurance plan, wait scratch that, most folks went to healthcare.gov to get in line for their “fair share” of “health care” in the form of subsidies the Feds promise for anyone who cannot pay their own way. Note the use of the terms here “health insurance” vs “health care”.
25 October 2013

When The Oath Ridge Boys Are Wrong

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - When I think of the US Air Force I think of its theme song “Off we go, into the wild blue yonder… nothing can stop the US Air Force,” nothing except a misunderstood use of the first Amendment. You see, the Air Force Academy is under fire for asking cadets to recite its oath, “[w]e will not lie, steal or cheat nor tolerate among us anyone who does. Furthermore, I resolve to do my duty and live honorably, so help me God.”
22 October 2013

TV “Wife” Gambles On The Gambler, Edwin Edwards

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - How’s this for the tag line of the next edition of TV’s latest “reality show”, “[t]hey sent me to prison for life but I came back with a good looking wife”? It is no joke that the sheer amount of infamous celebrities this country produces would make identifying this quote’s author nearly impossible so let me add “ex-governor” and “ex-con” to the mix. Well, that gets us closer but Rob Blagojevich fans will be disappointed to learn that Edwin Edwards landed the plum role with newest wife Trina.
15 October 2013

EBT Card Users Pay It Backwards

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - In his essay “The Law”, Frederic Bastiat identified the fatal tendencies of free people. “[T]here is also another tendency that is common among people. When they can, they wish to live and prosper at the expense of others.” This helps explain why the number of Americans on Food Stamps has expanded from 25 million in 2008 to 47 million this past June. While this has occurred something else has been in decline: any measure of shame for participating in government sponsored transfers of wealth.
10 October 2013

A REAL American Horror Story: The National Debt

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - New Orleans is a famously haunted city. The TV series American Horror Story is currently being filmed here and features a cast member named for the diabolical Delphine LaLaurie. Fans of the show delight in being scared out of their bowels by something that is as likely to happen as lightning striking them whilst inside the Superdome.
08 October 2013

Common Core is Uncommonly Dumb

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine Video - If I were conducting driver education classes and told you to be prepared to switch from safe driving techniques to the “Ricky Bobby” method you might get excited to meet Will Ferrell but as soon as that flight of fancy wore off you would wonder where the Ricky Bobby For Dummies manual was. You would thus find yourself in the same position most LA public school teachers are in today with the latest egomus de unum or we are of one mind mandate handed down from Mordor on the Potomac’s dys-education department: Common Core.
03 October 2013

The Statue of Liberty And A Line In the Sand

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - On 5 March, 1836 Colonel William Barrett Travis famously drew a line in the sand at the Alamo, asking for volunteers to cross the line with him and defend the fort or stand their ground and flee to safety. Of the 180 men gathered not one took the option to flee. Fast forward to today, 230 Congressmen have voted to “defund” the moral and Constitutional atrocity that is ObamaCare, they are being threatened with their legislative lives. Some Congressional leaders have drawn a line in the taxpayer sludge of the House floor, asking members to stay and defend that vote, like the Alamo, I’m certain the effort will fail, but if the Country and the GOP have any prayer of reversing the rise of Nanny State, they must hold the line ‘til the end of the session next November if that’s what it takes.
02 October 2013

A Banana Republic Would Have The Good Sense to Shut Itself Down

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - If the media hyped “government shutdown” ever becomes a movie, I think it should be called Bride of NOT-Frank-enstein because of the 535 member Congress are but a handful who will deal frankly with the issues at hand. The self-made, “shutdown” narrative promoted by “the media” is that “our nation” is on the precipe of improving the lives of all humanity through the dark art of government run medical insurance if we will only find the political will to embrace ObamaCare. You see, there is NOTHING our once great and limited federal government cannot and should not attempt to do. Since all of Earth’s problems, from endangered guppies to global temperature control can be solved by 3 forces: Congress voting, Congress counterfeiting money and Congress’s allies in media cheerleading; providing personalized quality care for the North American continent is but child’s play.
10 September 2013

Hey John Kerry! New Orleans Has Moral Obscenities That Need Attention Too

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - If Secretary of State John Kerry were to critique the violence that rips through the streets of New Orleans and compare it to the alleged chemical violence of the mean streets of Damascus, Syria he would no doubt thunder that “children dying of asphyxiation by chemical weapons must not be allowed to go unanswered!” Really!? Would you like to tell that to the mother of 1 year old Londyn Samuels who was killed with her 18 year old babysitter on August 31? How about the parents of the other 3 children killed in “Central City” since September, 2010?
05 September 2013

Maybe It’s Time We Reconsider Being British Starting With Adopting The Flag of Scotland

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - The British Parliament is made up of two houses, the House of Lords and the House of Commons. There are currently 650 members of Parliament or MP’s in the House of Commons1. The Commons are supposed to be representative of the people and when they were recently asked to defy the people and vote “aye” on a resolution to join the United States in bombing Syria’s legitimate government back “to the stone ages” they voted “nay”.
03 September 2013

The Founding Fathers Would Not Approve Obama’s Request to Bomb Syria

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - On Saturday last, President Obama announced to the world that he was seeking an authorization1 to use military force against “The Syrian regime” or what used to be called The Assad administration2. While Obama claimed he did not need to gain Congress’s blessing he would seek it anyway. The press quickly sprang into action asking all the wrong questions of all the wrong people like “will the Congress side with the President”? The proper question to ask instead should be “exactly what threat does the “Syrian regime” pose to citizens of the United States?
28 August 2013

Judging Schools Not By The Color of Their Paint But The Content of Their Pupils

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - Just 1 day after the anniversary of Reverend Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech I can happily report to you that when it comes to education, there are blacks and whites who agree that our efforts should be judged by the content of the results not the color of the participants. Ken Campbell is the President of a group called Black Alliance for Educational Option. On Tuesday, Campbell addressed Eric Holder’s InJustice Department lawsuit against Governor Jindal’s school voucher program1 and reached a conclusion similar to the one I reached that day. "I don't think our ultimate end is just to have racially integrated schools.
22 August 2013

Welcome to Louisiana, Tourists! Now Pay Our, I Mean, Your Taxes

Mandeville, LA - Church Doctrine - When you give someone your consent you usually agree that they can harm you in some way. A good example is “I consent to the cavity search, officer.” It is in this spirit we should view the recently signed and much ballyhooed “Consent Decree” the City of New Orleans signed with the National Government. The mob bosses at the inJustice Department have informed Mayor Landrieu that the Police & Jail Decrees will cost $18 and $33.5 MILLION over 5 years. This is money the city does not have which makes you wonder why Landrieu begged to give his “consent” to start with? So where will the funding come from?
20 August 2013

Egyptian “Aid” Just Latest Proof of Ike’s “Military Industrial Complex”

Mandeville, LA - Mike Church's Church Doctrine - Senator C. Everett Dirksen is famously quoted saying “...a billion here, a billion there, pretty soon we’re talking about real money.” The problem is there is no documentary evidence Dirksen ever said this(1) but there is plenty of documentary evidence of the billions that Congress spends today, including the $585 MILLION that corrupted body is about to shell out to our new warlord buddies in Egypt; or are they?
06 August 2013

Notes On The Road to Perdition

When most people think of the Dutch they conjure up images of young boys on paint cans with thumbs ready to plug a leaking levee. Yet it was a Dutchman, one Johan Cruyff who coined the phrase “Coincidence is logical”(1). Today I not the coincidence between news stories. The first is that McDermott International is mothballing its Morgan City manufacturing facility and heading for the green with profitable waters of Mexico. The second heralds the arrival of a new Panera Bread store in Baton Rouge(3). McDermott manufactured hardware for the oil & gas industry and employed 350 people. The latter will employ mostly part-time workers baking designer breads, enlarge the waistlines of Baton Rouge’s partially employed and return profits to a company based in another state.
14 February 2013

Happy Saint Valentinus Day and God Be With Ye!

Today is the feast of Saint Valentine and…oh what’s that, you have never heard “Saint” put before “Valentine” and thought that the namesake of the day was taken from a scorned, 20th century actor named “Valentino”? Well pull up crate of candy samplers and lend an ear. Like many of our traditions or rather the customs we have witnessed that produce positive results, Saint Valentines day has its origins in Christianity.
04 February 2013

The NFL’s Production Of Super Bowlapalooza Is Disgraceful

Before the Material Tramp could even be seen at the start of Sunday’s NFL SuperBowl halftime show, I knew there would be trouble. At least the Romans had the courtesy to kill off most of the ribald participants in their gladiator games whereas the NFL makes you sit through being flipped off while the musical gladiators are applauded. If you can find it, this is good work that pays millions but I wonder how many Americans who watched this performance prefer the gladiator’s fate for the performers?
04 February 2013

Church Doctrine – The Grass Is Always Greener Over The NFL’s Septic Tanks

That NFL Commish Roger Goodell has got some nerve. Nerve enough to have subjected hundreds of millions worldwide to the lewd sexcapades of Madonna, M-I-A, Fergie, Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson but now his league has grown a conscience over the practice of “bounties” paid to Saints defensive players for allegedly inflicting injuries on opposing offenses. Brett Favres bobos will heal but the collective damage done to the public’s threshold for good taste by Goodell/NFL sanctioned “half-time shows” will not.
05 December 2012

LA Education “We Should Know Ineffective Law When We See It”

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stuart once famously quipped that he could not provide a description for indecent material “...but I know it when I see it.” State circuit court judge Tim Kelley recently struck down the LA School Voucher program citing clauses from the LA Constitution that do not appear in the document; thus I assume Judge Kelly must rely on Stuart’s adage that he “...knows an unconstitutional act when he sees it.” Check out the rest in today's Church Doctrine video...
25 October 2012

Louisiana’s Second Amendment is Fine, Our Governor & Legislature Aren’t

On the ballot for Who Dats this Nov 6th, is yet another Amendment to the LA Constitution but this one comes in the form of a NEW, improved, “2nd Amendment”! Governor Jindal is out promoting this Amendment as a way “to secure our freedom” so local law enforcement cannot act as anarchists and confiscate guns after another Katrina, this amendment will NOT accomplish that. Check out the rest in the Church Doctrine...
11 October 2012

What do PBS Supporters Think We Are? Unified Thinking, Chinese Communists!?

In last week’s presidential Debate, Mitt Romney famously promised to “eliminate any agency or program we have to fund by borrowing money from China”. This include PBS and Big Bird. Romney’s test for Federal survival is much ballyhooed by “conservatives” who aren’t very “conservative” these days. If you need a test for whether or not to fund something Governor, try looking it up in here. If it doesn’t appear in an enumerated power than regardless of what Jackie Chan thinks of the Cookie Monster, the Feds will not be subsidizing it.
05 October 2012

The Morality of Federally Subsidized Sweet Tea

If there is any truth to the adage that “misery loves company” then a majority of the New Orleans Saints fans must be connecting with President Obama today as both the Saints & the President are winless in their respective seasons. The Saints losses have been mainly self inflicted while the Presidents loss in last night’s debate is inspired by what he has helped most of us lose: our wealth, civil liberties and virtue. I may be the only conservative on the planet willing to admit that there is something disingenuous about constantly whining over the $6 trillion increase in our debt under Obama while accepting none of the blame for immorally helping the Feds to spend the loot.
14 September 2012

When Bailout Money Leads To The Biggest Bailout Of All Time

When in Rome do as the Roman’s do or as we might say in 2012 Louisiana do as the Madoffs do. Last week I reported that Governor Bobby Jindal has boasted of conning the all too willing Federal Leviathan into “covering” 85% of the State’s Hurricane Isaac costs. Well not to be outdone in the mad rush for Pyhrric money, now I can wonder how the citizens of dry as a bone Tulsa OK feel about the Federal lottery Mayor Landrieu just hit1 for $27.3 million in “Isaac reimburse[ments]”? For the rest watch the Church Doctrine video...
21 August 2012

Don’t Use Public Money To Buy Right Or Left Wing Fried Chicken Dinners

Don’t Use Public Money To Buy Right Or Left Wing Fried Chicken Dinners - Louisiana’s one of a kind school voucher program is now in effect and judging by the howls of righteous indignation coming from the usual suspects on the left it must be working. Times Picayune columnist Jarvis deBerry informs us that “Public money is now being used to send children to private schools … and taxpayers deserve to know … that it isn't merely funding a right-wing belief that the government can't do anything better than the private sector.”
The EBT Song // Mike Church Show Band - Anthology
  1. The EBT Song // Mike Church Show Band - Anthology