Mandeville, LA - Exclusive Audio and Transcript - There's just no words for this folks… listen as this angry caller in Pennsylvania tells Mike to take the "Patriot" label off because he's a "Confederate".

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Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

UPDATE & CLARIFICATION: The transcript and clip contain 2 minor discrepancies which we would like to clarify. First, Thomas Jefferson's daughter was Martha Washington Jefferson Randolph. Martha's son George Wythe Randolph served as Secretary of War for the CSA. Robert E Lee's Grandfather was Lighthhorse Harry Lee who had a prominent role in VA's ratifying convention and was first cousins with RH Lee author of the Lee Resolution, contained in the Declaration of Independence.

Mike:  We should talk to John in Pennsylvania.  John is next on The Mike Church Show.  Hello, John.

Caller John:  Hey, Mike Church.

Mike:  Hello, John Smith.

Caller John:  You make me feel brilliant because I guess I’m one of those cultural elites.  I look way down my nose at your politics.  I think you should grow up.

Mike:  And?

Caller John:  I was driving my kids to camp and we were listening to your show.  You had on some narrow-minded bigot full of hate for all people who weren’t like him.  You were letting him go on and on and on.  I’m sure you’ll cut me off real quick.

Mike:  Wait a minute, he’s narrow-minded, but I let him go on and on and on, but he’s narrow-minded?

Caller John:  Because --

Mike:  I just want to realize the oxymoron you’re teaching your children.  He’s narrow-minded, but I let him speak his narrow mind.  That’s just brilliant, John.  What’s next?

Caller John:  You can’t point out that someone is narrow-minded without being narrow-minded in your universe?

Mike:  You just accused him of being narrow-minded.  It’s not my universe.  You’re talking about a caller, not me.

Caller John:  Bill, his name is Bill.

Mike:  That’s right, Bill.

Caller John:  He hates people because maybe they’re gay or different than him or they don’t agree with his politics.  What you’re doing is you’re fomenting rebellion from people like Bill.

Mike:  Oh, I’m fomenting his rebellion because I let him speak his mind?

Caller John:  Some of what you --

Mike:  Where is it written that the gentleman is not allowed to have, that his thought process and what he thinks about people of certain genders and what have you, where is it written that he’s not allowed to have those thoughts?  When did the thought police get here, John, brilliant, open-minded John in Pennsylvania?

Caller John:  I’m not the thought police.  I’m a regular guy who struggles a lot.  When I’m struggling a lot and I listen to people like you fomenting hatred --

Mike:  How did I foment it?  Let’s get a Webster’s Dictionary out and let’s look up the word foment and let’s see how I fomented it.

Caller John:  Do you want to know how you do it?  You didn’t make this up.  It’s not like you’re that creative or that clever, you’re not.  What you did is you’re just reproducing what Rush Limbaugh has been doing for years.  You reduce the other --

Mike:  Oh, really, John?  Yes.

Caller John:  That’s all that you guys do.  You reduce the other --

Mike:  Yes, yes, other talk radio hosts bring so much of the scholarship of the end of the 18th Century and beginning of the 19th to the airwaves as it comes from the source material.  Heaven forfend I should ever do that again, John.  You just proved that you don’t listen to this program.  Is today your first day, sir?

Caller John:  I’m telling you --

Mike:  Is today your first day?  It’s a simple question.

Caller John:  Grow up.  I’m driving my kids to camp --

Mike:  He wants me to grow up but he won’t answer a question.  It’s a simple question.  If you’re going to come on this radio program and insult me, call me names and insult people that are listening to this people, you can answer a simple question.  You accused me of doing things that I haven’t done.  I’m just asking you, is this the first time you’ve listened to this program?

Caller John:  No.  Unfortunately, I turn through -- I’m curious.  Curious is good.  I’ve got to listen to different opinions.  I listen to people like you to know what the other side is thinking.

Mike:  Why am I on the other side?  What side are you on?

Caller John:  I’m on the American side.  I don’t hate my federal government.

Mike:  Why not?

Caller John:  You hate the federal government.  You call yourself a patriot.  You should call yourself what you are, which is a Confederate.

Mike:  What’s wrong with being a Confederate?  John, Patrick Henry was a Confederate.  Patrick Henry’s grandson was a commanding officer in the Confederate Army.  What do you say about him?  Should we have killed him?  Are you glad that he’s dead, John?  Thomas Jefferson’s daughter, the only surviving member of the Jefferson clan, was a Confederate officer.  What do you say about that, John?  Robert E. Lee was a direct descendent of a man named Richard Henry Lee, who authored this thing called the Lee Resolution, which is the legal part of this thing we call the Declaration of Independence.  What do you say about him?

Caller John:  I say call a spade a spade and you’re a Confederate.

Mike:  So what?  Let me tell you something, wise guy, I’m a proud Confederate.

Caller John:  Admit it.

Mike:  I just did.  I’m a proud Confederate.

Caller John:  See, that’s what you are.  Now everybody who listens to you knows this.

Mike:  I think they probably knew it before, John.  We’re not trying to hide it here.  We don’t exist in glass houses to throw stones at people.

Caller John:  Then you know what?  Take that name patriot off of your channel because you are not a patriot.

Mike:  Why am I not a patriot to question my government when it exceeds its authority?

Caller John:  Oh, now we’re back to questioning.  Now you’ve just loosey-gooseyed it down to questioning.

Mike:  This guy is just -- John, you are a threat to yourself, sir.  Stop yelling.  Why are you yelling at me?

Caller John:  Because I’m talking to you.  In order to get --

Mike:  No, you’re yelling at me.  Why are you yelling at me?  Why are you calling me names?  I don’t go into your house and call you names.

Caller John:  Why don’t you take tens of thousands of your kind and come up to Pennsylvania and we’ll show you what happens to Confederates in Pennsylvania.

Mike:  So now you want to kill us again.  That’s a great sign of a free, patriotic people, John.  You lust for my blood because I disagree with you.  You lust for my blood and people’s like me blood because we disagree with you.  That’s wonderful, John.

Caller John:  Before the Civil War, there were guys like you running around handing pamphlets out, getting people to hate the federal government.  You know what happened?  The Civil War happened.  Now you’ve got --

Mike:  I believe that their proposition was that the federal government was no longer because it had breached its contract.  Since it had breached its contract, as free people, they decided they wanted to govern themselves.  It’s called self-government.  They basically took the federal constitution, put a couple different clauses in it, adopted it, and started their own government, kind of what happened in 1776 and then in 1781 under this thing called the Articles of Confederation, and then in 1788 when the Constitution was ratified.  Are you done yelling?  I’m still here.

Caller John:  . . . patriot.  It was the patriots who fought those people and we won.

Mike:  It was the patriots that signed the Declaration, John.  Fifty-six of them seceded from the country of Great Britain.  That’s what they did.

Caller John:  I thought we were talking about the Civil War.  I assumed you were talking about the Civil War.  You jump around quite a bit.  It suits you.  The fact is --

Mike:  I’m trying to breathe a little history into this conversation, which you apparently want nothing to do with.

Caller John:  I believe you know little history.  I’ll tell you a little history.  A guy named Rush Limbaugh started reducing the other side to absurdity.  He started taking the other side --

Mike:  Why do you keep quoting someone else?  I am not he, sir.  I am here.  I am a free thinker who have brought my own thoughts to the table, which have apparently not comported with yours, as is great evidenced by your screaming hissy fit here on the radio airwaves.  I don’t know what your intention was to accomplish here, but I hope I was able to provide some catharsis and some therapy for you.  Do you feel better, John, about yourself now?

Caller John:  Meanwhile, while you’re reducing the other side to absurdity, people like me --

Mike:  Why am I reducing the other side to absurdity?  I don’t even use that terminology.  That is another radio person’s terminology, sir.  It is not used here on this show.  If you have something else that you would like to talk to me about that I actually said on this radio show, I am more than happy to entertain your call.

Caller John:  There’s no reason to listen to you.

Mike:  Then don’t.  John, there’s no reason for me to talk to you anymore.  How about that?

End Mike Church Show Transcript