King Dude Recipes for Your Independence Day Cookout

The KingDude’s Double Secret Probation Meat Rub

Here’s the rub. No really, my Meat Rub is easy and fun to make, can be used on any pork or beef cuts and will make you a legend in your own mind. This rub is the result of years of trial and error with an assist from Mr. Jameson, Anheuser and Beam. It may seem simple and after reading this you may scream “there’s not enough stuff in this, how can it work!?”

Trust me. It WORKS well.

I used to make this without the Rubbed Sage and lemme tell you people, the Sage is the bomb. If you’re wondering what you’re gonna do with all the leftover Sage, you had to buy you can always sprinkle a little in any soup you make and it acts just like a bay leaf: spicy and aromatic. 

 Now you don’t actually have to “rub” or massage this into your meat cuts but it does help. The real trick to using this Rub is to let it sit at least 10 minutes after applying it before cooking. For Best results let it sit and hour and if you’re a liberal and are in between whine sessions with Keith Ogremann or an episode of “Spitball” and waiting for your next “grant” or unemployment check and time is no issue, let it sit overnight.

Lastly, if you REALLY want the best results do this. With paper towels, dry any excess water or liquid off your meat cuts. Sprinkle the rub on to completely cover the meat. Using DRY fingers, massage the rub into the meat. You only need to rub ONE side. A lot of people drown their meat with dry rubs completely coating the top, bottom, sides and packaging foam. Just coat one side and let the meats flavor take care of the other.

Also, after rubbing the meat with KingDude’s Double Secret Probation Meat Rub ALWAYS cook the rubbed side FIRST. Enjoy!

Ingredients
Mix together in a bowl using the tips of your fingers to work ingredients back and forth like a snapping motion only not as violent or Slick Hilly-esque (“Snap, Snap! get me my weak tea you worthless intern!”). You can multiply these quantities or cut them in half for more or less rub.

2 Tblsp of Kosher Salt (YES you MUST use Kosher Salt)
1 Tsp each of, Coarse Black Pepper, Cayenne Pepper and White Pepper
1 Tsp of Garlic Powder
1 Tblsp Rubbed Sage
1 Tsp of Espresso Coffee Grinds (use Espresso because of the fineness of the grind)

p.s. You Can NOT use Decaff and if you’re considering Decaff for this recipe why not just eat that juicy Wheat grass and leave the Meat for the Real Men, Okay?