Mandeville, LA - Exclusive Transcript - I believe somewhere in my closet at home, I have at least one shirt that was sewn together by the people of Bangladesh.  They’re big into textiles.  Should we get together and have a Bangladesh burning party?  We’ll all get our fabrics and shirts together and anything that has been made in Bangladesh.  I think I bought the Bangladeshi shirt because I try not to buy anything that’s made in China, and it’s almost impossible to do.  If I can find an alternative that was made in South America or made in South Carolina -- I always look for the Made in the USA brand first.  I’m not obsessive or possessive over it.  I’m pretty sure I have clothing that has been made in Bangladesh.  This is a major problem for many of you.  You decepticons out there, those of you that think we need to expand our empire and occupy more places in the world because they all want to kill us, that every Muslim alive wants to kill us and destroy our way of life, you’ve got a whole new country to deal with. Check out the rest in today's transcript...

 

Begin Mike Church Show Transcript

Mike:  Lindsey Graham was on last night with -- I went to an event last night and I was driving home.  Greta Van Susteren was on Fox News and she had Lindsey Graham on.  As if I wasn’t nauseous enough -- and I’ll tell you about that in just a moment -- I had to suffer through that, and listening to [mocking] “It’s because America’s presence in the world has declined under this administration.  We’re not any safer than we were.”  I have a question about the Federal Reserve bomber.  He’s from Bangladesh, right, AG?  He’s a Bangladeshi kid, 21 years old, right?

AG:  Correct.

Mike:  What country is Bangladesh in?  India?  Bangladesh is not in Iraq, I don’t think.  Bangladesh is not in Libya, I don’t think.  Bangladesh is not in Afghanistan, I’m pretty sure.  Wait a minute, if this kid was from Bangladesh, it would seem then that the Bangladeshis would be in need of some American exceptionalism, don’t you think?  We need to get an aircraft carrier or an aircraft carrier battalion steaming and on the way to surround Bangladesh.  We’ve obviously got a new threat to deal with.

Wait, wait, wait, I thought I had read somewhere that if we fought the terrorists over there -- I want to make sure that I say this correctly -- that if we fought the terrorists over there, we wouldn’t have to fight them over here.  I think I did hear that somewhere, I did.  I did, I did, I did see a puddy tat!  We fought a war over this.  Wait, we spent $3 trillion fighting on their field so that we wouldn’t have to fight on -- we must have this news incorrect.  This guy has got to be a plant.  He cannot possibly be a real Bangladeshi, can he?  If so, what is our foreign policy to Bangladesh?  I’m just curious.  Anyone out there ever been to Bangladesh?  I must confess I’ve never traveled outside the United States.  Well, I’ve been to Canada.  I went to Niagara Falls, Canada.  I don’t know if that counts.  Do you think going to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls counts that I can claim I’m a foreign traveler?

AG:  That is tough.

Mike:  Have you been outside the country?

AG:  Yep.

Mike:  What is the extent of your foreign experience?

AG:  A bunch of different Caribbean islands for basketball tournaments.

Mike:  Really?

AG:  Yeah.  In high school we traveled to the Virgin Islands to play basketball.

Mike:  So Bangladesh is actually its own country.

AG:  Yep.

Mike:  It’s a little country surrounded by West Bengal, Meghalaya, Bhutan, Tripura, Mizoram.

AG:  East of India.

Mike:  It is east of India.  I think that they are in need of some serious American exceptionalism.  We can actually surround them -- I think we can get away with just one aircraft carrier and a couple little frigates.  What do you think?  It’s not that large of an area there.  We have brand-new problems cropping up here in the form of Bangladeshi terrorists.  Now we just have to expand the reach of the empire, right, Decepticons?  Obviously the people of Bangladesh all want to kill us now.  This is the mindset that we must develop.

Wait, wait, wait, this is really disturbing now, Andrew.  I believe somewhere in my closet at home, I have at least one shirt that was sewn together by the people of Bangladesh.  They’re big into textiles.  Should we get together and have a Bangladesh burning party?  We’ll all get our fabrics and shirts together and anything that has been made in Bangladesh.  I think I bought the Bangladeshi shirt because I try not to buy anything that’s made in China, and it’s almost impossible to do.  If I can find an alternative that was made in South America or made in South Carolina -- I always look for the Made in the USA brand first.  I’m not obsessive or possessive over it.  I’m pretty sure I have clothing that has been made in Bangladesh.  This is a major problem for many of you.  You decepticons out there, those of you that think we need to expand our empire and occupy more places in the world because they all want to kill us, that every Muslim alive wants to kill us and destroy our way of life, you’ve got a whole new country to deal with.  I wonder if this is going to come up in Tuesday night’s debate.

End Mike Church Show Transcript