Mandeville, LA – Exclusive Transcript – How is it that 60 percent of the imbeciles out there believe that if some alabaster-clad, marble-pillared building in Washington would just spend more of other people’s money on other people’s children’s education that all would turn out right with the world? Sixty percent of the nitwittery out there thinks the national legislature should spend more money on education. I just have to ask the question: Why? Check out today’s transcript for the rest…
Begin Mike Church Show Transcript
Mike: What would you say was the thing that most of the American sheeple want more money spent on? Here’s the way the Pew Research Center broke the poll down. It’s in a bar graph, increase, same, or decrease. You had three choices in the survey that was completed by thousands of members of the American sheeple, 19 choices for federal spending. You could choose to either increase it, spend the same amount, or decrease it. What would you think — I don’t know if you read the poll. What would you think was the number one thing that people want increased? Just take a wild guess. Your instinct ought to tell you what number one would be. Take a wild guess.
AG: Homeland Security.
Mike: That’s up there. Education. How is it that 60 percent of the imbeciles out there believe that if some alabaster-clad, marble-pillared building in Washington would just spend more of other people’s money on other people’s children’s education that all would turn out right with the world? Sixty percent of the nitwittery out there thinks the national legislature should spend more money on education. I just have to ask the question: Why?
I just want to grab one of them by the ears and stare them eye to eye, nose to nose: Why? Explain this to me. What in God’s name would make you say something so stupid? Have you made an informed decision? Do you not know that every year they have spent more than they spent the year before, you nitwit? Do you not know that there is a corresponding decrease in the intelligence level in the average American? Are you trying to say you want us all to die? Are you trying to say you want us all to become a third-world country or think like one? What in the hell is wrong with people? Does past history mean anything? Does a record of not being successful mean anything? Why don’t you just say you want to increase spending in the belief of fictional holiday characters? If we could have more people firmly believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day, just imagine — where’s Sam Cooke? [singing] “What a wonderful world it would be.”
This is what makes you want to throw your hands up in disgust and just walk away and say: I’m moving to Churchonia. I’m going to build a China wall around my compound. I don’t want my children hanging out with any of your children. I don’t want their minds becoming perverted and polluted like your kids’ minds are going to become. It’s almost as though — if you look at the list of things people want more money plowed into, it’s the things the general government sucks the most at, like education. Sixty percent of people want more education spending.
Fifty-three percent want more veterans’ benefits. That’s the only one where I would say veterans’ benefits are just payback for what veterans have done, especially those that are missing limbs, have nightmares, and cannot re-acclimate themselves into society. This is how silly this one is. By a count of 41 to 10 over increase or decrease, 41 percent of you nitwits out there want social security spending increased. Don’t you know where social security money comes from? In other words, you’re telling them: Tax me more so you can spend more of my social security. If that’s the case, why don’t you just fill the box in on your 1040 form and donate an extra two or three large every year? Put a note on there: Uncle Sam, please put this in my SSA fund.
You know what FICA stands for, don’t you? Federal Income Contributions Act. If you want social security spending to increase, you want to be taxed more. You want your contribution to increase. Call your member of Congress up and tell them to get busy. [mocking] “Hello, Congressman McGillicuddy? Mr. Smith here. I was just taking a survey from the Pew Research Center and I see more people agree with me than agree with you and your silly Tea Party buddies. I demand an increase in social security payroll taxes tomorrow. We need increased spending in social security and I want to pay for it. Thank you.” Silly, silly, silly, silly.
Natural disaster relief, 34 to 12 increase the spending. We must enlarge the size of the national legislature because God has decided to visit tornados on us. What could possibly go wrong? Combatting crime, this is a great one. The national legislature does such a wonderful job of ridding our streets of vermin and vagrants and violent criminals that we should absolutely empower them to spend more. Of course, that’s in the Constitution. That’s why we wrote the damn thing. We wanted federal cops. We wanted federal cops from Maine all the way down to Florida, from the northernmost parts of Washington State all the way down to the Baja Peninsula. It’s in Article I, Section 8. I’m sure if you look hard enough you can find it. I’m sure if you read about the first 150 years of life under the Constitution or in a federal union, I’m sure you can find ample examples of all the police actions and wonders of federal police forces.
Roads and infrastructure, this is another one that just defies explanation. By a count of 38 to 17, the nitwittery out there, the hoi polloi, the American sheeple wish the national legislature to spend more money on roads and infrastructure. Here’s a quick question: Where do you think the money comes from? Hey, Cosgrove, where do you think the money to build the bridge comes from, leprechauns? Shall we get it from the Easter Bunny? Will it be in my Easter basket this year? I didn’t look deep enough into my stocking that Santa stuffed for me. Andrew, your issue, you said not national security. What did you say?
AG: Homeland Security, national security, same type of thing.
Mike: Anti-terrorism defenses, a score of 32 increase to 19 decrease. Only having 800,000 Pentagon employees who are actually working this counterterrorism thing, at our disposal to furlough, is just not going to do. I think if we work hard and we give the national legislature all of our money, we can have 3 or 4 million people to furlough by 2020. What do you guys think?
Scientific research, that’s right, without the national legislature researching things like phones you can use that fit in your pocket that the members of the cast of the original Star Trek crew would never have dreamed, even in sci-fi fantasy land, that they could use. Science has done such a rotten job. If the national legislature doesn’t spend money on this, we’ll never get anything.
This is the business of government. Do you people not read? Do you not watch movies? Have you not read Jules Verne? Have you not read Ray Bradbury? Have you not read Isaac Asimov? Have you not read any of the mid-20th century classics about science fiction warning what happens when government gets control of science or when government is empowered to control and do things for science? You may want to look into some of those things that the Nazis were doing with their scientists as an example of what happened. Hell, you may want to look at the Tuskegee Airmen, for crying out loud. I’m moving. I’m not even doing the rest of this show. I’m going to Malaysia. How hard do you think it is to get a passport to get to Fiji?
End Mike Church Show Transcript