Mandeville, LA – Lands End Catalog/clothing retailer sends its customers (mostly housewives) a “bonus magazine” of the summer issue of GQ. When the mag arrived in mailboxes, shocked customers wondered why they were being peppered with soft-core porn and then they took to the Lands End Facebook page to complain about it. This is where the story turns into a microcosm of our nearly manless society as “gentlemen” berate, belittle, mock and generally assault any woman who cited their wish to spare their children’s tender minds the cover’s naked Emily Ratajowski. But that’s NOT the story.
What the internet & social media worlds have done is taken the effeminate “metrosexual” and turned him into what I call “SocialMediEunuch”. A trolling bully who now revels in vicariously pummeling women into submission or shame via on-screen ridicule all the while hiding behind a keyboard and a monitor. Gone is any pretension that there may be a “fairer gender”. Enter Cyber SissyLand and every screen name is fair game. No wonder so many women are considering homosexuality, they can’t tell the difference between the sexes anymore.
A gentleman’s response to Lands Ends mistake and resulting feminine outrage would be one of one compassion and admiration that mothers still care about the amount of smut shoved under their kids noses. But that’s asking too much of the digitally-diapered bullies who, by their own admission, lust for their children to become 9 year old gang bangers “if that’s what their sexuality” leads them to. “If you don’t like it, throw it in the garbage” chortles one, brilliantly coiffed digital eunuch who then scoffs at the idea that a child’s mind can be impressed by fleeting images. As I was reading to comments I wondered where the actual husbands of Candice and Wendy were? Paula Cole called it, 15 years ago “Where have all the cowboys gone?”
Blessed John Henry Newman informed us of what makes a Real Gentleman, 150 years ago.”The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast — all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at his ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd.”
One Facebook “male” even relates that “…our sexuality. It creates life, and the more we do it that happier we are.” What!? We are talking about children here, but hey, what happens in Davos…”. It’s time for real men to start calling these louts out for the 2014 equivalent of 19th century misogyny.
Real Manliness requires us [gentlemen] to control our pettty, “devlish” urges and marshall our forces to serve our Ladies as we would Our Blessed Mother. A famous poem recounts the Manly virtue of King Henry VI.
“Hence it happened once, that at Christmas time a certain great lord brought before him a dance or show of young ladies with bared bosoms who were to dance in that guise before the king, perhaps to prove him, or to entice his youthful mind. But the king was not blind to it, nor unaware of the devilish wile, and spurned the delusion, and very angrily averted his eyes, turned his back upon them, and went out to his chamber, saying: Fy, fy, for shame, forsothe ye be to blame.”
There are no Henry’s around these days and if there were, they’d be ridiculed on Facebook for being “prudes” until Henry showed up on his well groomed steed, dismounted, called out his challenger, and split him in two with but one manly stroke of his sword. I’ve cut and pasted some of the most recent Eunuchs comments so you can see for yourself and have not changed any of the names. (I’ve done what I can to preserve the posts as quoted but the Facebook embed function for this story is deactivated)
Curtis Frank “It’s interesting how many conservative, ignorant people are so outraged by this. Don’t these people visit the mall, where popular stores like Victoria’s Secret or Abercrombie & Fitch are? I’ve seen much worse on banners in those stores than I did with a GQ Cover. I’m truly exhauisted by how stupid everyone is getting. Spend your time worrying about more important things, like your child getting a quality education, or local community support. Getting so bent out of shape over the cover a magazine proves that your priorities are askew.”
Mike Blaze It would be no different if it was two dudes getting all nasty with each other. If it’s not for me I’m going to toss it in the trash. Pretty sure looking at porn never killed anyone. Society trying to repress things of a sexual nature is why our sexual crime rates are higher than less repressed countries. Better keep your little sexual deviants locked up in a tower so that they don’t see a boob, heaven forbid!
Gary UnionThug Denton Wendy, Brenda, et al: I truly hope this is the biggest “problem” you face with your kids, today.
Kevin Schlacht How is it that our country is so offended by sexuality? It’s one of the most beautiful parts of being a human, our sexuality. It creates life, and the more we do it that happier we are. Embrace it. It’s not the 50’s anymore. Sheltering your child from breast will only amplify the interest when the time comes. When we stop viewing our children as helpless victims and start respecting them like equal human beings capable of making their own decisions not only will we empower them, but they might be a little more open to our opinions.
Kevin Michael VerKamp GQ stands for Gentlemen’s Quarterly… So dear prudish moms, please pass your free GQ magazine to the nearest Gentleman, and give it a rest.